10 life-changing decisions that will help you stop struggling with dieting, food and your body image – Part 1
Time for some tough love that I think you’re going to ultimately appreciate my friend. If you want to stop the exhausting rollercoaster ride of dieting and fighting with food and your body, there are some decisions you’re going to want to make. They’re quite simple although not always easy, but if you stick with me, I can promise you it will be worth it…
You want to lose weight.
You’re tired of feeling self-conscious, fighting with food and always looking for THE ONE.
That is, the one diet that will keep its promises – you’ll lose the weight and keep it off.
The one that promises that it’s a lifestyle and will be achievable.
But you know, from the many diets you’ve gone on in the past that these promises have been empty, you haven’t gotten the outcomes you wanted or you’ve blamed yourself as being the one that can’t keep at it.
I know, I know… I’ve been there and MANY of my clients have as well.
Shelley (not her real name) came to see me desperate to lose weight. She was tired of the rollercoaster ride that was her life: excitement at going on a diet that promised to be the one and then disappointment when it didn’t work.
It seemed to have worked for a friend who was now parading around confidently in clothes that showed off her slim figure but she knew with every diet that there came a time where she felt really fed up (pardon the pun) – sick of the restriction, sick of eating bland food, sick of feeling hungry, sick of feeling constantly obsessed with what she could and couldn’t eat and when she could eat next.
She was also so tired of hating herself and wearing clothes that made her feel like her 85-year-old grandmother. Did I mention that she had also been doing this for nearly 30 years? Can you relate? I think many of us have been Shelley too often in our lives. I know I certainly have.
What if I told you that you didn’t have to diet anymore but that by working through these decisions below, you could find a way to make peace with food and your body so that you weren’t fixated on the scales and your weight anymore? AND that you could experience good health, energy and vitality in a body that you love at your healthy weight?
Let’s get started:
1. WHY DO YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT?
You will have to really dig deep into the reasons why you want to lose weight. I’m starting with the toughest decision first as it sets the scene for everything else to come.
Take action: Get out a piece of paper and brainstorm all the reasons why you have wanted to lose weight in the past.
What do you think will change?
What do you think will be better?
How will life be better?
Write without stopping for at least 5 minutes.
And then go deeper by writing for another 5 minutes.
This way you can get beyond all the obvious reasons like ‘I want to feel better about myself’, ‘I want to fit into clothes that I like’. These reasons are fine but be willing to go deeper by asking ‘Why?’
This way, you can get to what’s really going on for you. What are you not doing because you think you have to lose weight first?
2. LET GO OF DIET MENTALITY
You will have to let go of diet mentality.
What is this?
It’s the belief that the way to weight loss is to just eat less, i.e., restrict your food intake and move more.
It’s following a generic plan or a one size fits all kind of diet that doesn’t take into account you or your body. You have to fit yourself to the diet and not the other way around.
This is not sustainable and if you’re like me, I think you know, deep down in your heart from many past experiences that it just doesn’t work.
Don’t fall into the trap right now of thinking this is somehow your fault, that it’s your lack of discipline that’s causing this failure. If 96-98% of people struggle with this same thing, how can it be EVERYONE’s fault? Just saying.
Take action: Reflect a bit on your dieting history and what’s worked and what hasn’t and why.
3. LET GO OF THE NUMBER IN YOUR HEAD
You will have to let go of the number in your head.
Yes, you know what I mean.
The number that you have chosen that you think your body should weigh.
Maybe you’ve weighed it before, when you were 20 years younger.
Maybe you’ve been told that this is the number that allows you to be within a healthy BMI range.
Our bodies are WAY more complex and we cannot reduce them down to a number. It never works. It’s not sustainable. There’s a weight range that your body is comfortable being in and over time, and if you stop fighting it, it will show you.
Take action: What weight range have you found your body has been comfortable sitting at in the past?
HINT: This is often where the body likes to sit when we’re not in the middle of dieting and restricting and then the inevitable swing to overeating.
4. LEARN HOW TO SLOW DOWN WHEN EATING
You will have to learn how to slow down with your food when eating.
How can you hope to learn what hunger, satisfaction and fullness truly feels like in your body if you’re eating fast and not paying attention?
This sounds easy in theory but my clients have found this to be one of THE most challenging things to do. We’re so busy doing a 100 things all at once that to be mindfully present with food, chewing it slowly and taking time to enjoy it, can be really challenging.
Take action: This coming week, take note of how fast you’re eating and see if you can slow down a little. See if you can also eat without any distraction, even if it’s just for one meal – just you and your food, hanging out together.
5. STOP CUTTING OUT ENTIRE FOOD GROUPS
You will have to stop cutting out entire food groups. I know. This is controversial.
But Gaby I hear you say – carbs are not my friend, I’ve been told that carbs are what make me fat.
Wrong!
It’s way more complex than that. If you truly cut out carbs as an entire food group, you would be in serious trouble, as that would mean no fruit or vegetables. Do you know what happened to sailors who spent months out at sea without any fresh fruit or vegies? They got sick!
It also means that you’re in restriction, which very often eventually leads to eating lots and lots of those foods that you were actually cutting out. Can you relate?
Take action: If you’ve done this in the past, think back to what happened over a period of time. Did you restrict carbs and then find yourself craving them ALL several weeks or months down the track?
I want to encourage you to sit down with a notebook and start going through each of these points with a sense of curiosity.
How do they apply to you?
What’s happening for you in each of these areas?
Take one each day and just write what comes to mind. Remember this is about you making yourself a priority.
Body acceptance might literally feel like the most challenging thing you could ever imagine doing. AND yet, these are the vessels that contain the essence of who we are. All our love, hope, dreams, and desires are contained within this vital human suit. Without it we wouldn’t exist.