3 Simple Strategies to Improve your Relationship with Food – Part 1

Our relationship with food is never simple, is it? We think about it’s about the food and to some extent it is, but it also isn’t. Curious what this means? Read on…

I spent so many years struggling with food, trying to figure out the right solution, the correct diet, motivate myself to exercise regularly and stop eating so much. This carried on for so many years and it was soul destroying. I thought there was something wrong with me, that I had no willpower, that I was lazy and greedy. Turns out I was greedy… not for food, but for more joy, pleasure and meaning in my life.

Improving your relationship with food so that it’s more relaxed and easeful takes time. Don’t let anyone fool you into believing that you can go on a diet, lose weight and everything will be better. It won’t – I promise you this. I’ve worked with so many people – women and men – who lost weight and realised it didn’t make a huge difference in their lives. Sure, it was great for the first few weeks but after a while they realised their problems were still there, the relationship issues, the work stress, the unrelenting busyness – still there.

This is why when you decide to change your relationship with food, it can’t just be about weight loss. You must figure out your WHY. You need to be willing to explore what you’re using food for. What’s missing in your life? What is food a substitute for? This can take time but it’s so worth it because if you commit to the process, what you discover is truly precious.

• What you need more of in your life.

• What it means to live more authentically and in integrity with yourself.

• What you will and won’t put up with.

• Figuring out what your values are so you can live your life with more meaning and purpose

This is what drove me to get curious about my relationship with food and what I was using it for. One of my favourite sayings is:

When we turn to food to provide something it can’t, the amount we eat is potentially infinite.

Can you relate?

I want to encourage you to give yourself some grace… and time… to figure this out. Are you willing to go on a journey of discovery? Are you ready for life to never be the same again? Once you know these things you can’t un-know them.

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Let’s jump in:

1. Mindset is everything

What you tell yourself matters. Notice where you’re criticising and bullying yourself with your self-talk. Research is very clear that engaging in nasty self-talk, judgement and beating yourself up, creates feelings of failure and wanting to give up. It’s not motivating and is more likely to lead to comfort eating – the opposite of what you want to do!

Suggestion: Be willing to journal on all your thoughts about your relationship with your weight, food, and your body for a week. Do this from a place of curiosity so you can identify your thoughts and how you feel when you talk to yourself in this way.

2. Commit to breaking the restrictive diet cycle

At some stage you are going to need to break up with dieting. If not now, then when? Dieting disconnects you from your body and food is seen as the enemy that you’ve got to try and eat as little of as you possible can. It creates feelings of deprivation and shame when you don’t ‘stick’ to it. 

Dieting is a multi-billion-dollar industry that results in a 99% failure rate. Trust me, it’s not you and a lack of will power. The opposite of dieting is learning to have a relaxed, nourishing, and uplifting relationship with food. The kind you and I had when we were really young. 

Suggestion: Make a list of all the times you have dieted in the past. What did you do? What did you follow? What worked? What didn’t work and why? What wasn’t doable or sustainable? Promise yourself you WON’T do this again.

3. Create a realistic doable daily meal plan

This is not a diet plan! Put foods on your plan that you like and love. Making a daily meal plan will take you no more than 5 minutes in the morning. Look in your fridge and pantry to see what’s there, think about the day ahead. What are you going to be doing? Are you meeting a friend for coffee? Are you running around in the afternoon picking up kids and waiting for them to finish their co-curricular activities. Do you need to plan to take something along?

Making a daily plan helps you to feel more in control of your food as you get to choose. No calorie counting, no macros. Just the food you want to eat.

Suggestion: Watch out for diet mentality! Your plan is not meant to be restrictive or rigid. It’s about creating some useful structure for yourself. Put foods on it that you’ll be willing to eat. You can experiment and make nutritious upgrades as you go along but be honest with yourself and start with what’s doable.

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Can you focus on just these 3 strategies this week?

I know if you’re anything like I was, you may think this is not enough. You may think: ‘I’m so tired of being overweight, hating my body, not fitting into my clothes, overeating’ (insert whatever it is you’re struggling with) BUT when you give yourself grace and time for deep exploration, you can make changes that are sustainable.

This could be the last time that you struggle with your relationship with food. Doesn’t that sound more uplifting than the urgency of having to do it all now?

Look out for next week, where we explore another 3 simple strategies to improve your relationship with food.

Until next time, take really good care of yourself

With love and a big virtual hug

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